Day 27: Confrontation

Day 27! I have been so busy today! I probably made one of the most life-changing purchases today. I cannot tell you much about it yet but I promise you will know by October 29th. Remember this date, it will be important. That aside, starting tomorrow I will get back on an earlier schedule.

Today I want to talk to you about one of the side effects of my anxiety. My inability to deal with confrontation. I hate to admit it but I am quite spineless. My brain goes into total shut down mode when confronted, especially when it is hostile. I get choked up, my heart pounds, and my head starts to feel light. This doesn’t only happen when the confrontation is directed at me. If people are arguing near me, I instantly start to panic, I get nervous just thinking about it, my heart is pounding as I type this.

What may have caused this extreme fear of confrontation? I honestly have no good answer to this question. I would say it’s just how my brain is wired because it has been like this since I can remember. I have a feeling it could also be attributed to my disease since I have little to no control of my surrounding area.

I have found ways to combat this crippling fear. I always try and keep any potential fires extinguished, even if it means bending backward for someone. I tend to cut ties with anyone who is regularly confrontational. The friendship is never worth the stress to me. Last and probably the most unhealthy is I go out of my way to avoid any and all reasons for an individual to confront me.

Hopefully, sometime in the future, I will learn how to better handle myself in these situations. For now, I am comfortable being a coward.

Thank you for reading, I hope you found it enjoying. Tomorrow, I have some big news for the upcoming future of my site, stay tuned! My lovely photographer has another beautiful photo for us.

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One comment

  1. You’re anything but a coward, Parks! You have fought through surgeries, illnesses and limitations that I can’t even imagine! No, not a coward, just a wise man who knows when to keep his mouth shut. Love you!
    Aunt Cyndy

    Like

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